Walls

I wrote this song last week. It's one of those songs for me that is just fun to sing. I love the chorus. It was one of those puzzle-piece song. Once the chorus was written it just came together. There is really nothing to the song in terms of meaning. I was just writing. I haven't felt the need to write songs with deep meanings lately. Lyrics are getting harder for me to write. Honestly, these are throw away lyrics. I would love to come up with something better in the future.

I broke down walls for you
You left me black and blue
You throw your stones at me
With hopes to make me bleed

Voices call out the dead
You fill yourself with dread
You push yourself away
But I can’t make you stay

I fall down these broken stairs
You’ve hurt me beyond repair
I hang by a thread for my own sake
And now I have crossed the line
I long for another time
It’s true that I cannot see behind these walls you’ve built for me and you

Hand slid across my eyes
Time to apologize
I know you cannot breathe
You live your life obscene

Swallow me on the breeze
Drown me in violent seas
I’ll wait to hear your song
But I won’t wait that long

I fall down these broken stairs
You’ve hurt me beyond repair
I hang by a thread for my own sake
And now I have crossed the line
I long for another time
It’s true that I cannot see behind these walls you’ve built for me and you


Walls.mp3

Own

I wrote this song a few weeks ago, but I just finished the lyrics earlier today. I wrote this as I was falling asleep one night. I always have my phone on my nightstand and sometimes I'll get an idea and just roll over to grab my phone to record the basis for the song. Sometimes I'll hum a melody, sometimes I'll hum a chord progression. It just depends on what hits me. With this song it was the melody. My problem is that I don't know if this is song that somebody already wrote. It reminds me of another song but I can't tell you for the life of me what song that is!

The same thing happened with Paul McCartney when he wrote "Yesterday". (By the way - I am NOT comparing myself to McCartney or this song to "Yesterday".) He woke up one morning with the song in his head and figured it out quickly on the piano. He said it came to him so quickly and easily that he thought for sure that he hadn't written it. He thought it might be a song that he heard his dad play when he was a kid. Paul's dad was a jazz musician. Paul took the song around London to his musician friends for a while and would play it for them, asking if they could identify the mystery song. None of them could. He didn't even have real words for it yet. The opening line of the song was "Scrambled eggs, oh you've got yourself such lovely legs..." Eventually he realized that the song was his very own creation and he went with it.

So now I put it to you - have you heard this song before? I really want to know because I swear this came from someone else and I don't want to be known as a ripoff. Let me know if you've heard it, or if it sounds like something else you've heard. Even let me know if it sounds like an original, new song. If I did copy this from someone else it was completely unintentional. I appreciate all comments and suggestions!!


Sometimes this pain is the answer
A customized scream for defeat
Heartache is my midnight dancer
A feeling I find bittersweet

It’s been too long since I’ve been home
The face I once knew is long gone
I feel the madness in my bones
I’ve done so much right it feels wrong

Baby, you done me wrong
Left me all on my own
Maybe I’ll run a long
With this pain I now own

I used to think I was special
Much to my dismay I choked
I thought I knew myself so well
Parts of me felt they were broke

I’ve done my best to get by this
It’s hard when I can’t get away
I’m not the person that I’ll miss
But I’ll be the one in my way

Baby, you done me wrong
Left me all on my own
Maybe I’ll run a long
With this pain I now own

I’m such a mess
Inside this flesh

Baby, you done me wrong
Left me all on my own
Maybe I’ll run a long
With this pain I now own



Own.mp3

The Artist

I'm not really sure where this song came from. I started writing the verse for it a litte while before spring break. I had a few choruses that I wrote for it, but nothing seemed to fit with the rest of the song. Yesterday during staff meeting (again!) I was thinking about the song and a new chorus came to me, as well as the rest of the song. I went down to my piano and plugged out the chords to the new chorus. I loved it and finished writing the rest of it.

The song is about being with that one person who you wish was good for you, but is ultimately the most destructive person you've ever had in your life.Thank goodness I don't have to deal with that crap anymore - but I've been through quite a few of those relationships in the past. There's nothing worse than being infatuated with someone and feeling like you're dying when you're not around them, yet when you are around them they just continually dig your grave for you. Some people really have this behavior down to an art, which is where the title of the song came from.

We can’t keep running away
There’s more to all this than we might say
I shouldn’t give in to you
You give no warning for what you do

You’ve got this down to an art
There’s no forgiveness in bleeding hearts
Tomorrow is what we make
But will it be something we will break

Still I’m on fire for you child
Can’t seem to cut myself free
Not quite sure why I’m still going wild
With all the hurt you’ve given me

So with my blood on your hands
Are you still able to understand?
You try to make me forget
But it’s not me who should have regrets

Still I’m on fire for you child
Can’t seem to cut myself free
Not quite sure why I’m still going wild
With all the hurt you’ve given me

I confess
I’m a mess
At the end of this noose
Done my time
Walked the line
I’ve got nothing to lose


The Artist.mp3

Bitter Screw

This one came pretty quick to me. I was on my way over to the church for the general priesthood session of conference when the melody popped into my head. I sat in the car for a minute after I got there and wrote the first couple of lines. By the time I left the church after the session I had it it finished. This song has nothing to do with conference, nor is it religious by any means.

I had been listening to Pearl Jam's new album earlier in the day. (By the way - it is fantastic! Go grab a copy.) The melody came about from do some listening to them. This is not meant to be a Pearl Jam song. In fact, it sounds nothing like Pearl Jam, but somehow or another, Eddie and the guys inspired this song.

Bitter Screw is just a reference to the hard things in life. Sometimes you have to turn that bitter screw, or do those things you really hate doing but know they have to be done. It doesn't mean it's easy by any means. It is in fact harder, but we still do it - still turn it. I really like this song though and I think it has a lot of potential.


You don’t know me
You don’t know me
You don’t know my name
You might see me
Break and beat me
Find in me some shame

Now we’re going round and round
To crash into the ground
All we do is spin in sin
It’s trouble that we’re in

You’re enraging
You’re engaging
Fire in my hand
Unassuming
So confusing
Hard to understand

You cannot provide inside
A calm before the storm
I know that you hate to wait
Your patience has to form

As you hold onto your soul
I know you have to go
As we turn this bitter screw
There’s a light that shines on you
It’s much easier to fail
Than to let the truth prevail
And it’s all that I can do
But I can’t do it all for you

I’m still hurting
Though deserving
Part of kingdom come
You’re a bad dream
Can’t you come clean?
What now have you done?

There’s a part of you – it’s true
That scratches at my mind
There’s a part of me I see
That could only be so kind

As you hold onto your soul
I know you have to go
As we turn this bitter screw
There’s a light that shines on you
It’s much easier to fail
Than to let the truth prevail
And it’s all that I can do
But I can’t do it all for you


Bitter Screw.mp3

Dark Angel

I wrote this song in 1995 - the year after I graduated from high school. I got the title from a book that my mom gave me to read. I don't remember who wrote it or what it was about - it wasn't that good, but I did like the title. About this same time I had met a kid in Yuma that was a fantastic musician. I can't remember what his name was, but he and I had gotten together a few times to work on some music. I do remember how impressed I was with him and his songs that he had written and it was a driving force for me to write better music.

I don't really remember what the song is about. It's been so long since I wrote it. I did play it to a few people back in the day after I had written and they seemed to like it. It should have a lot more to it vocally, but I really don't have the chops. I wish I did, but my voice has worsened through the years. I remember being so pleased with the section that starts out "now it's time to wipe the poison...". For some reason that I cannot remember I loved getting to that part of the song to sing. It was my favorite section. Anyway, here's an oldie for you.


Night is gone, the morning’s come
Good has lost and evil has won
The pains of night time are replaced with morning’s fears
Now the life I live is like a broken mirror

Now it’s time to wipe the poison from my eyes
The spell you cast upon me gave no chance to try
The way you treat me makes me bleed just like a cut
You threw me out your door and now you’ve locked it shut

Dark angel, spread your wings over me
Dark angel, make my dream reality
Please take your poisonous venom from my blood
Keep yourself from my thoughts
Keep me from your love

Anger is gone but depression’s coming fast
Love is lost and joy is in the past
You were my lighthouse guiding me throughout the night
Now you’ve left me all alone without your light

Your sharpened tongue cuts through my soul just like an ax
My feet are cut from walking on your broken glass
The hands that once loved me no threaten me with stones
The voice that sang to me now speaks in darkened tones

Dark angel, spread your wings over me
Dark angel, make my dream reality
Please take your poisonous venom from my blood
Keep yourself from my thoughts
Keep me from your love

Oh the harder that I fall
The less likely I’ll bounce back like a ball
Oh the wretched pain that’s in my soul won’t let me go

Dark angel, spread your wings over me
Dark angel, make my dream reality
Please take your poisonous venom from my blood
Keep yourself from my thoughts
Keep me from your love




Dark Angel.mp3

Meet Me in the Sun

This is a song title I've been mulling over for about a year. All I ever had was the title. The title came about from my daughter, Aleece. Over a year ago U2 released their single "Get On Your Boots" and it was played endlessly in our car. Aleece was always singing along with it. I love having children that can sing along with the music I listen to. Lainey sings along with me to "Ticket to Ride" by The Beatles. I'm working on Lennon right now.

Anyway, toward the end of "Get On Your Boots" the song just thumps with drums and Bono singing "Let me in the sound!" Aleece and I would always scream this at the top of our lungs when it came on, except she kept singing "Meet me in the sun!". I tried and tried to get her to listen to Bono singing "let me in the sound", but she swore up and down that her words were the correct ones. I finally told her that I would write a song called "Meet Me in the Sun" so that she could sing those words to something. This is what I came up with over a year later.

I think this song is about not feeling sorry for yourself. Get over your junk and live life. Life is too short to be bogged down with things that won't matter in a week. Anyway, this song is for Aleece because she gave me such a great title.

Love, it don’t come easy
And love can fly away
A fool can only sink
When the waves come crashing in
So make your choice now – sink or swim

Drop the hate you’re feeling
For hate will mourn the dead
Don’t let your circumstances
Pull out the stops for you
You’ll find your faith in what you do

When my demons dance
I don’t have a chance
I can’t put these flames out for you

Meet me in the sun
Don’t you know you’re not the only one
Meet me in the sun
I’m not just somebody you can shun

All, it’s all forgiven
Meet, meet all your needs
The weight upon your shoulders
May throw your balance off
But stand back up, pick up your cross

All your attitude
Borne of solitude
It’s enough to drive me insane

Meet me in the sun
Don’t you know you’re not the only one
Meet me in the sun
I’m not just somebody you can shun

Meet Me in the Sun.mp3

Clatter

**Just for anyone wondering - these recordings of mine are just rough demos. These are not what I hear in my head. My vocals are just a guide to help me remember the melody. I'm not singing at my best. Often when I record these songs its within minutes of finishing the words. I am trying to get it recorded at school quickly before a bell rings or someone knocks on my door. The recordings are just to give you a taste of what the song is. I'm not going for perfect here, just an introduction.**

This song came about after listening to some Coldplay (yes I love Coldplay) last year. I never really was able to produce any lyrics for it until recently. I loved the timing of their song "Glass of Water". I became frustrated with myself for not having written a song in a strange time signature. I worked on this one a bit and finally was able to get the feel for the 5/4 that I wanted.

When I sing about clatter, it's about all the unnecessary things in life. There is so much un-needed crap in the world. I see so much around me that is the stupid. I get frustrated with it all and I really do try to distance myself from it - the shallowness. I don't want to become a part of it (the man - damn the man! [Empire Records reference]). I fail occasionally, but I do try to stay away. My own social commentary...

I’m on about it

I used to fly

What does it matter?

Hate fills these skies

Life can be twisted

Hearts can be mean

Hold out for something

Stop pulling strings

Don’t fall apart now

Jump at your chance

‘Cause time doesn’t matter

Be who you can

Stop all this clatter

Don’t bow down to the man

Time is a fire

That burns through our souls

Walk on this wire

Toward life’s greatest toll

I’ve grown older

I’ve wasted days

There’s things I don’t know

And words I won’t say

I’ve fooled the world now

Who’s watching me?

‘Cause time doesn’t matter

Be who you can

Stop all this clatter

Don’t bow down to the man

Time is a fire

That burns through our souls

Walk on this wire

Toward life’s greatest toll

Clatter.mp3