Back of My Mind

So I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything new here. It's for lack of material. It's because it's a lot harder to record new music at home. There is just rarely anyplace or anytime for quiet so that I can record. Not that I am complaining about my children. Recording music is just easy to do in this house with four children under the age of six.

This song came about from listening to a lot of Oasis. I love that group and was saddened when I heard they had broken up. The only good thing is that I will still be able to hear great music from Noel as he starts a solo career and Liam has his new band Beady Eyes which should be putting out some new music soon.

There is really nothing to this song. I was just trying to write really simple lyrics to go with a really simple melody. This is an unstrained song. There is nothing hard about it. It was easy to write and it's easy to sing.


Morning breaks across my window
Calling me by names I don’t know
A storm’s a-coming, which way will it blow?

Lightning beats its way through my head
All the lights I’m seeing are red
Now I’m watching where my footsteps tread

In the back of my mind I’m insane
In the back of my mind I’ll refrain
In the back of my mind where I feel so plain
But it’s not the same without the pain

Mad fer it I always will be
Even living in my own tree
I don’t care what anybody sees


One day all of this will be gone
Gone away with morning’s new dawn
Hard as it may be keep moving on

In the back of my mind I’m insane
In the back of my mind I’ll refrain
In the back of my mind where I feel so plain
But it’s not the same without the pain

Morning breaks across my window
Calling me by names I don’t know
A storm’s a-coming, which way will it blow?


Lightning beats its way through my head
All the lights I’m seeing are red
Now I’m watching where my footsteps tread

In the back of my mind I’m insane
In the back of my mind I’ll refrain
In the back of my mind where I feel so plain
But it’s not the same without the pain



Back of My Mind.mp3

Speed of Light

I was doing some cleaning the other day and came across this song just sitting in a notebook. I honestly can't remember when I wrote it. In fact, I don't even remember if the melody and music that I recorded for it a few days ago is the same as when I wrote it. I took the words to the piano and sat down to play through it and I didn't have to figure out what it was - it just came to me. I think I wrote this song about a year ago, but I'm not 100% sure.

I don't remember much about this song - not even what led me to write it. But after finding it a few days ago I really like it and was excited to get it recorded so I could post it.

And when I jumped I hit the moon

I’d cast away my pearls

And fallen off the world

Through a seer stone I saw

My flaws and my mistakes

The hearts that I would break

Into the speed of light I cast my shadow

I’m searching for forgiveness everywhere

Am I prepared now to step into heaven?

Or am I close enough to care?

No matter what you do

I’m no worse off than you

I’m stuck inside a room that’s got no windows

And through this photograph

I’ll tear my soul in half

I can’t communicate with those I don’t know

And on my knees I searched for God

I looked into the skies

I looked into His eyes

I saw the fool I had become

The faith that I had lost

And all that it had cost

Into the speed of light I cast my shadow

I’m searching for forgiveness everywhere

Am I prepared now to step into heaven?

Or am I close enough to care?

No matter what you do

I’m no worse off than you

I’m stuck inside a room that’s got no windows

And through this photograph

I’ll tear my soul in half

I can’t communicate with those I don’t know

Speed of Light.mp3

Feeling All Right

I wrote this song one afternoon while I was finishing up at school last month. I had been listening to a lot of big band music, mostly Frank Sinatra. I decided to try a write a song in his style, lyrics and all.

Lyrics from those old songs are so much better than what I hear out there today. There are few lyricists that can mold the English language better than some of those who Frank worked with.  This song was just meant to be a bouncy little piece. I wrote it as though Frank would sing it himself, hence the line about being about boozing is not my speaking in my own voice.

It's not much, but its just a quick little easy song that I really liked once it all fell into place.


Sunday morning
Give a little warning
You want to go out
But I had a late night
Take the dog walkin’
Do a little talkin’
Come back after noon when I’m a-feelin’ all right

I’m still snoozing’
Did a little boozin’
Me and the boys were out
And had quite a few
We went clubbin’
Hubbing and bubbin’
Looks like I won’t be outta bed until two

You’ll see I’m an awful mess
You’ll see and I must confess
I’ll be no good to you
Unless I can sleep until two

Sunday morning
Give a little warning
You want to go out
But I had a late night
Take the dog walkin’
Do a little talkin’
Come back after noon when I’m a-feelin’ all right
Come back and see me when I’m feelin’ all right
Don’t come back and bother me
Until I’m feelin’ all right



Feeling All Right.mp3

There's No Harm

I wrote this song yesterday and recorded it this afternoon. It was one of those songs that just had a natural flow to it. I had watched a movie the other day that had a this cool little waltzy type  instrumental piece in it. I started playing around with different chord progressions and 3/4 time signatures. This is what came of it. This is definitely one of the easiest songs I've written in a while. Everything came it to it easily - words and melody. It almost guided me in the right direction the song should do. I love it when that happens.

I don't know what the song is about. Maybe taking life easy. Maybe speaking up more. I really don't know. The words just flowed out as well. Sometimes a song doesn't have to have a meaning or a message. They are sometimes the best songs...

All that you say

Just gets in the way

We’re spinning in trouble again

Someone will cry

When somebody dies

We’re getting away in the end

If you don’t talk no one will hear

It’s a long walk that brought you back home

So now don’t run into open arms

Let it be, can’t you see there’s no harm

Wild and confused

My brain is abused

Theses voices crawl out of my head

Heavy this load

My heart will explode

There’s nothing that has gone unsaid

If you don’t talk no one will hear

It’s a long walk that brought you back home

So now don’t run into open arms

Let it be, can’t you see there’s no harm

If I just don’t speak

I will not seem weak

And I can’t be scared

I can’t cling to the things that aren’t there

All that you say

Just gets in the way

We’re spinning in trouble again

Someone will cry

When somebody dies

We’re getting away in the end

If you don’t talk no one will hear

It’s a long walk that brought you back home

So now don’t run into open arms

Let it be, can’t you see there’s no harm

Let it be, can’t you see there’s no harm

Let it be, can’t you see there’s no harm

There's No Harm.mp3

Why Do You Make the Angels Weep?

I think I was still in high school when I wrote this song. At this time I was starting to branch out from writing the cheesy typical bubblegum pop love songs. I was starting to see the world for the dark place that it was. In high school I really started to hate every thing. I didn't fit in, but looking back now I'm not sure that I wanted to. This song was not the typical song that a high school senior would write.

It's about being in an abusive relationship - plain and simple. There was a lot of irony in my writing of this song. It came back to bite me in 98-99 when I was in my own very abusive relationship and I was on the receiving end. Its just funny how life works out. Four to five years later after writing this song I was living the lines "Where do you cry when you're alone" and "Why do you fill your hands with stones". Even worse I was asking the line "Do you deserve all of this? Maybe so."

I love this song because after I wrote it I felt so good about myself as a songwriter. I love my Dad and he has always looked out for me in my life. During my senior year in high school he told me that I'd never make it as a songwriter. (So far he's been right!) He said that musicians were a dime a dozen and that I didn't have anything special that people would notice. I took that as a challenge and starting working really hard at writing songs. This song was one result of his comment. Mind you, I don't hold it against him. In fact, I'm grateful for the comment because it pushed me to places in my heart and mind that I had never visited before. It taught me to trust myself.

When you write a song, you really have to trust yourself and your instincts. You write a melody and there are a million different places you can take it when you come to the bridge or the chorus. You have to learn to trust that the decision you make for that song is the best one possible. This is what my Dad helped me to do. He pushed me to be more creative. This was the start of my creativity/madness - depending on which side of the coin you're looking at. Enough of my babbling. Below are the lyrics that are actually close to being 20 years old. Not too bad for a 17 year old freak.

I watched him take you for a stormy ride

He took you too far to the other side

He wound you up so tight you couldn’t stop

Then buried you alive and got on top

Though you say you had control

No one made you sell your soul

He gave to you – you took without a doubt

You have to give to him if you want out

I know you can’t sleep in the bed you’re in

You’ve won yourself a loss and lost a win

You’d walk away but you don’t dare

No you haven’t got a prayer

Why do you make the angels weep?

Where do you cry when you’re alone?

Why do you make the angels weep?

Why do you fill your hands with stones?

The only things he says to you are with a fist

The only tears you shed are from your wrist

Your picture perfect world has broken glass

You say it’s not that bad, the storm will pass

Even if you had the chance

You’d continue with this dance

Why do you make the angels weep?

Where do you cry when you’re alone?

Why do you make the angels weep?

Why do you fill your hands with stones?

You can’t get back what he’s stolen

Why should you even think to try?

And with your rose red lips now swollen

There’ll be no more asking why

Only lies

Tonight there’ll be no goodnight kiss

Do you deserve all of this?

Maybe so

Why do you make the angels weep?

Where do you cry when you’re alone?

Why do you make the angels weep?

Why do you fill your hands with stones?

13 Why Do You Make the Angels Weep 1.mp3

Corkscrew

This is again one of those weird lyrical songs a la "I am the Walrus". When I write a song like this I can pretty much name it whatever I want. For this one I just glanced over the lyrics and picked the word that stood out the most to me. It's not about a corkscrew. I don't own a corkscrew. I have never used a corkscrew. In fact, corkscrews look like an accident waiting to happen.

Any road, I was playing around on the guitar and came up with this chord progression. It has some pretty standard chords to it, but I was trying out tiny alterations to those chords. This is what I came up with. I love the chorus - "She screams out...". It's fun to sing, but also to play. In terms of the chords it starts off with an A major chord, then down to an A major 7th chord, then to an A 7th chord. I always like a little chromatic drop in chords. If I was only a better guitar player. With short, stubby (and now fat) fingers come some limits.

The other thing I was trying to do was pick out words that aren't always heard on a daily basis to throw into this song. I took myself out of my normal comfort zone for writing music on this song. Normally my songs and lyrics are pretty safe. What I would do is write a few lines that rhymed and then I'd re-write it as though I'd gone batty. This was a little bit more challenging for me. I thoroughly enjoyed the writing process for this one.

Walled in with her silence

And all this violence

Has nothing on me

Head on like a corkscrew

I cannot undo

All that you see

There nothing do but watch your mind

A heart attack would not be so kind

It’s all early morning

Not even a warning

To save my own life

I’m staying in bed here

Drinking my own tears

Twisting the knife

Disparity calms a soul that aches

It’s all just a ruse for heaven’s sakes!

She shouts out words she read in a bible

Oh such confusion that will blister on her soul

Pop princess spends her time in revival

Tearing the world apart just to find herself a role

These thoughts here are not mine

Stay in the black lines

You’re moving out

You’re wearing a disguise

Yet you seem so wise

Licking your pout

You’re doing your best to stay on your feet

This life that you live is stuck on repeat

She shouts out words she read in a bible

Oh such confusion that will blister on her soul

Pop princess spends her time in revival

Tearing the world apart just to find herself a role

Down in a distress

Falling through air

I get the answer pulling hair

Muddy conviction

Follows me through

I ain’t got much but I got you

Walled in with her silence

And all this violence

Has nothing on me

Head on like a corkscrew

I cannot undo

All that you see

There nothing do but watch your mind

A heart attack would not be so kind

She shouts out words she read in a bible

Oh such confusion that will blister on her soul

Pop princess spends her time in revival

Tearing the world apart just to find herself a role

Corkscrew.mp3

Always Fail (I'm Sorry)

Life is funny. Most people I know have wonderful intent in their own lives. What they want to do is always for the best. They try to do things in a selfless manner that will help raise those up around them. I'm not saying that those are not my intents in life. They very much are, but it seems like I'm always falling short.

I have not always had others interests in mind when I've done things in life. There have been times when I have very much been a selfish sod. I did things to get ahead in life. I only worried about me and my feelings. In the end, I never did get ahead, and my feelings were usually shredded to bits because of the enormous amount of guilt that racked my soul. I'm not very good and dealing with guilt. It's like a sliver under my fingernail. It just keeps festering and festering until I become completely mad!

This song is really an apology to all those in my life that I seem to let down on a continual basis - my wife, my parents, my children, my friends - everyone. I am now at a point now in my life that I care very little about my own desires. It's all right - it's tickety boo. I find my own happiness in making my family happy. I do all I can for them because I want to - the desire is there. HOWEVER, as previously stated, I let them down. It's that whole problem of not being perfect. I often feel tuned the moon when I mess up because it is never my intent. I am always trying. I guess the problem is that I am me.

Any road - like I said, this song is an eternal apology for those that I let down on what seems like a daily basis. I love you all and I'm trying. It's hard, especially when I can be such a stupid get.

I’ve done it wrong

I’ve been a mess for oh so long

And though I pray

It seems I always lose my way

What should I see?

Is there someplace that I should be?

I cannot find

What’s wrong inside my broken mind

I try my best

But still it seems you’re not impressed

I feel the hurt

I’m sorry if I make life worse

I guess there’s nothing else I can do

I’ve always tried so hard to make sure I was good to you

I hate the things that I can’t undo

For you I guess I failed

I try, but always fail

You hate the wait

The waiting for life to be great

I killed your dreams

Each day I’m trying to redeem

And how I bleed

Just knowing I can’t fill your needs

I guess there’s nothing else I can do

I’ve always tried so hard to make sure I was good to you

I hate the things that I can’t undo

Again, for you, I failed

I try, but always fail

Always fail

Always fail

Always Fail (I'm Sorry).mp3