Just Breathe

Tuesday I was in a rush to leave work so I could pick my daughters up from school. I was already running late. As I walked past my piano I heard two notes being played in my head. Just an A and an F#. I thought "Oh crap" to myself because I had to sit down and write. Something told me that even with only two notes I had something good on my hands. So I sat at the piano, turned on my phone to record, and started playing. About two minutes later I had the complete melody for this song and the chord structure. I was still in a hurry so I hightailed it over to the girl's school.

Afterwards I had to go to work at Domino's so I knew I'd be able to work on some lyrics. As I drove around town and thought about it I came up with the premise for the song and banged it out quick. It really didn't take long at all. Those are my favorite songs to write. I know it's a short song and there's not a lot too it, but I wanted it to be simplistic. If I ever get it recorded professionally there will be a little bit more to it.

The song is simply about love and working through the tough times. Goodness knows that I'm not perfect and I'm sure I've ticked off my wife because of something I've said/done/didn't do/been, etc. I'm the first to admit that I'm not an easy person to deal with. This is not about me per say, but about what everyone that loves someone deals with - mistakes and forgiveness. I'm lucky to have a good wife who forgives me when I mess up, which is usually a daily occurrence.

But its really more than that. This is about getting over everything around you that is wrong and completely relying on each other. Some days you really just need to remember what is important in your significant other, put aside anything that may be irking you, and remember that they love you and you love them. That is the absolute most important thing!

You say your words

They run me straight through

This feels absurd

So far from the truth

The hate we bring doesn’t offer anything

Just for tonight could we put aside the fight

And just breathe

We can’t connect

With walls in between

Look what we’ve spent

No chance to redeem

And when the pain seems to scratch right at our brains

Will we see the light?

Try to hold each other tight

And just breathe

The fool in me loves the fool in you

It’s hard to see past stupid things we do

When this world that we’ve built wants to go into full tilt

Let’s forget what we’ve heard

Let’s not say such hurtful words

Let’s just breathe

Parking Lot Apology

I like to observe people. I find other people's lives fascinating. If you sit and watch people long enough you're bound to something interesting happen. I wrote this song based on something I saw once. I could only speculate what was happening because I couldn't hear anything, but I could see faces and body language so I was guessing what happened.

A guy walked into a grocery store. He wasn't inside for very long before he came out with a few bags of groceries. As he walked up to his car he slowed down because of something he saw there by his car. It was a girl in another car that had pulled up next to his. He obviously recognized as he walked up, but he wasn't sure what he should do - run away or keep walking. She started talking to him but there was a distinct pain on his face that could only have been caused by her.

He listened to her as she spoke and the more she spoke, the more tears I saw from her. She was apologetic in her mannerisms. He didn't really respond except for his staring at the ground. He would say something every once in a while, but I could tell that he was still hurt from whatever she did. She stepped out of the car and took him in her arms and he fought the urge to put his arms back around her. She stepped back and took his face in her hands and kissed him. He was in tears at this time too. When she pulled away from the kiss he stared at her for a moment before shaking his head. He said something to her, looked hard at her again, walked to his car, started it up and drove away leaving her there standing in the parking lot leaning against her car sobbing. She did this for a few minutes before wiping her eyes, getting back in her car and driving away in the opposite direction.

This song is what I imagined she was saying to him. He was probably completely enamored with her and she didn't feel the same way until he let go - then she realized that she had lost the best thing in her life. This is her parking lot apology to him for taking him for granted, but it was an apology that he could not accept. She had already done too much damage and he could not see past that. I don't know if that was what the conversation was really about, but it makes for a great song. I love writing these songs with a bit of a waltz feel. There's just something about them that makes my hair stand on end. I love it!


I can tell you’re confused
You are wondering why I’m here
I know I left you bruised
I’m so sorry dear
I’ve been thinking a lot
How I messed up what we had
I’ll put you on the spot
Sorry I was bad
Didn’t know what I had

Please come home with me
Let me try this again
Please give me another chance
I now realize
That all I want is you
But how could you have known

You gave so much to me
Put me up on a pedestal
All you wanted was me
I said my life was full
I put you on hold

Please come home with me
Let me try this again
Please give me another chance
I now realize
That all I want is you
But how could you have known

I’m so sorry I pushed when you pulled
I’m so sorry my touch was so cold
I was wrong and you were right
All I want is you with me tonight

I know I love you
And I’ve made some mistakes
Please don’t turn and walk away
Hold me in your arms
I’m so sorry I bailed
I just want you with me
It’s how my life should be
‘Cause you were meant for me
It’s something I now see
I just want you to try to love me again

Long Hard Road

Last year I had to go to a different school once a week to teach. I hated it. I won't mention the school but the kids were selfish and rude and just plain irritating to be around. The teachers weren't much better. There were two other music teachers at the school that I liked but most of the other teachers were just "high and mighty" and self centered/serving. They would rarely show up on time to class and they caused all sorts of problems.

One day as I sat waiting for the class to show up I was sitting at the piano just tinkering around. I was trying to write a song using a chord progression going from a C major to a B diminished seeing as how it was something I had never done before. This was from listening to lots of jazz and some Frank. (Anyone who has to ask me Frank who will be dealt with accordingly!) I THOUGHT that I had done it with the piece of music. The first two chords were being played that way. Then about three weeks after I had written it I was playing it on my ukulele trying to figure out the fingerings and I played an E7 instead of the B diminished and I realized that THAT was the chord should be. I guess I still need to write my song with the C major/B dim change.

It was raining the day that I wrote the song - hence the "stormy clouds" line. My favorite part of the song was the refrain though - "It's a long, hard road, it's a heavy load, and I've gone about as far as I can go". Good heck I feel like that a lot. I'm sure others can relate quite well to it. At least I hope so.

I keep hearing this song on the ukulele. I think that is the instrument it should be accompanied by. I'm still trying to learn the uke well enough to play it and record it, so once I can play it I'll have to re-record it with that. I love the simplicity of the ukulele and how it takes a really good melody to be accompanied by something as simple as a uke. I think it's fantastic that Eddie Vedder just released his "Ukulele Songs" album. For those of you who have not listened to it - you are completely missing out. Get a copy ASAP. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little ditty.


Stormy clouds will make me scream out loud
And I am swallowed by the sea
So I can’t seem to break free
There’s a truth I know that will not let me go
I fight to walk away from fate
Fight to sacrifice my fate

It’s a long, hard road
It’s a heavy load
And I’ve gone about as far as I can go

Rainy days won’t help me lose my way
I know when I am caught off guard
Falling down can be so hard
I guess I’ll ride the wind away from all my sins
I’m not sure I know what is right
Turning darkness into light

It’s a long, hard road
It’s a heavy load
And I’ve gone about as far as I can go

I’d die a million deaths but one is all it takes
I’d breathe each breath like it’s my last
Say what you will but I won’t let my old heart break
Hold me low but let me go

Stormy clouds will make me scream out loud
And I am swallowed by the sea
So I can’t seem to break free
There’s a truth I know that will not let me go
I fight to walk away from fate
Fight to sacrifice my fate

It’s a long, hard road
It’s a heavy load
And I’ve gone about as far as I can go

When the Roses Fall from the Sky

I wrote this song after listening to the first single "The Roller" off of the new Beady Eye album. For those of you who don't know, Beady Eye is basically Oasis without Noel Gallagher. This single was quite poppy. As I read what people were saying about it I read that people said Liam Gallagher ripped it of from John Lennon's "Instant Karma" which is one of my favorite Lennon songs. I decided I wanted to rip off that song too. I only got as far as the first three chords. Everything changed quite naturally after those chords to something else.

This song is another example of me just saying wierd things to myself. I had the melody at the beginning but not a single lyric. As I continued to work on it I knew that I wanted it to be "when _____fall from the sky". I was driving around trying to think of something falling from the sky that would completely catch people off guard. I don't know if I saw a flower shop or actual roses, but when I sang "when the roses fall from the sky" I knew that I had found what I needed. The rest of it fell into place until I got to the chorus.

At the chorus I again had the melody but no words. I felt that this song had a very Brit-pop feel to it and I wanted to bring a British feel to it. One of my all time favorite movies is Guy Ritchie's "Snatch". I believe in this movie is where I first heard the phrase "easy peezy lemon squeezy". I loved it! I love Cockney rhyming slang and I wish that I spoke it better. I was able to throw it into the song and it's my favorite part of it now. I love getting to the chorus and being able to sing it.

I don't know what the song is about. Parts of it seem to be about struggling - parts of it seem to be about pushing through the struggles. I'm so confused...


When the roses fall from the sky
That’s the day I’ll stop asking why
And the burdens bear down on me will break
More than once I’ve waved you goodbye
More than once I’ve wished I could die
But I’m running out of excuses just to make


All the silly people know me
They’ve been watching me all night
All of ambitions shouldn’t come as a surprise
Running in and out of nowhere
Dancing on a thin white line
Life is just for living and I’ve got no time to live for mine


It’s all easy peasy
It’s all lemon squeezy
Falling down just to stand up seems like it’s all I ever do
In this crazy bubble
I’ll call out my troubles
Don’t abandon me ‘cause I don’t have the hope you want to see


When you call on me for the blame
And there’s really nothing to gain
Will I try to be a pauper or a king?
When tomorrow calls for her fools
And I can’t accept all the rules
Can I solve the problems I have by what I sing?

Something in tomorrow’s sunrise
Paints a picture in my mind
Don’t depend upon me, I’m the blind leading the blind
I may be a visionary
Questioning what’s wrong or right
But I’ve got my reasons I keep following the light that shines


It’s all easy peasy
It’s all lemon squeezy
Falling down just to stand up seems like it’s all I ever do
In this crazy bubble
I’ll call out my troubles
Don’t abandon me ‘cause I don’t have the hope you want to see

Wicked Has Her Ways

I wrote this song over the summer while driving around Memphis delivering pizzas. I had the melody for a few weeks before I had any actual lyrics. Sometimes when I'm trying to come up with lyrics I just start saying strange phrases in my head to myself. I look for flow of presentation. It doesn't always have to mean something specific. Usually if it does mean something it just means that I got lucky.

There were three lines that really made this song come together. "But this is my last show of colors, goodbye lovers now, wicked has her ways". I knew I had something cool once I had those three lines, but the next line "and even sinners pray for something" - that was the nail in the coffin for me. Just something about that line ripped me up. Once that I had the entire chorus I found myself singing it to myself often. I still do. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. That doesn't happen a whole lot. There's a song I just wrote this last week that I haven't finished the lyrics on yet that is always in my head like this song.

As for the meaning of this song - I don't know. It's strange to go back and read the lyrics sometimes after writing a song because I don't always remember exactly why I wrote something. I do know that part of the meaning is that its okay if life is not always sweet. In fact, it's expected to be bitter at times - which makes everything else seem sweeter when it does happen, hence the line "love won't always sing". Sometimes bad happens. Sometimes it happens a lot. Sometimes it doesn't seem as though it will go away... The jury is still out on that one for me.

Torn asunder by my hate

Broken twice in two

More than once I’ve twisted fate

I’m nobody’s fool

Acid falls against my skin

Demons pull me low

I can taste the ash of sin

I feel trapped in this freak show

I don’t claim to know

But this is my last show of colors

Goodbye lovers now

Wicked has her ways

And even sinners pray for something

Love won’t always sing

Spiraling out of control

Fatalism wins

Falling down the rabbit hole

The mystery begins

I could fall into the sun

Death could be my friend

Angel wings have come undone

I’ve stopped trying to pretend

I don’t claim to know

But this is my last show of colors

Goodbye lovers now

Wicked has her ways

And even sinners pray for something

Love won’t always sing

The Smile You Had

This song is somewhat of a mystery as to why I wrote it. I was living by myself in Logan, UT when I wrote it in a crappy attic apartment. Life pretty much sucked. I was single again and, as usual, I was falling apart. During this time period I went to the dollar theater by myself a lot. It was cheap entertainment that allowed me to lose myself for a few hours.


On the night I wrote this song I had gone to see "Never Been Kissed" with Drew Barrymore. Now, I had always been a huge fan of hers. I had the hots bad for her. I enjoyed the movie and headed home. I remember as I was driving home pouring over the thoughts in my head about finding 'someone' and being happy with them forever. All signs at that time in my life were pointed towards 'not gonna happen'. 


It must have been cooler outside that evening because when I arrived at home I took of my jacket and threw it over the chair in my tiny living room. My guitar was sitting in the corner behind it. As the jacket landed one of the sleeves hit the guitar, creating a tone/funky chord. Like lightning to the brain this entire song was in my head! It was literally that fast. No words - just music. Now this was back in the time before I could record the idea on my phone and come back to visit it later, so I had to sit down right then and write it.


In the melody I could already hear the "hey hey hey hey" part. I wanted the song to be something easy to sing along with. The lyrics just kind of poured out once I started writing. The verses are kind of throw away, but I really do enjoy the chorus. As usual during this time, I'm writing about that special someone that I hadn't found (yet). I was looking but never able to find her. I was just going to have to wait a few years. It's one of those I've written that I occasionally find myself singing just for no reason. Those are the songs of mine I like the best.

The Smile You Had

Hey hey hey hey

I’m flying over you my friend now

Hey hey hey hey

With all I see there is no end

Hey hey hey hey

I’ve walked away from this before

Hey hey hey hey

And I’ve come back just wanting more

You stole my smile from me and now I want it back

‘Cause I like the smile that you had

Hey hey hey hey

The ocean’s pity overthrows

Hey hey hey hey

The angels teach me what they know

I’ll penetrate your lips to take away your sad

‘Cause I like the smile that you had

And I can’t help wonder why

You share with me that sparkle in your eye

I struggle to believe

Still this fairy tale’s come true

With everything that’s done by you

I’ve lost all myself inside you

Hey hey hey hey

You’ve given me vanilla bliss

Hey hey hey hey

I’m restless for your licorice kiss

I’d smash eternity to hear our cherub’s laugh

‘Cause I like the smile that you had

And I can’t help wonder why

You share with me that sparkle in your eye

I struggle to believe

Still this fairy tale’s come true

With everything that’s done by you

I’ve lost all myself inside you

Hey hey hey hey

I’m classified as fortune’s fool

Hey hey hey hey

I’m trapped inside myself so cruel

As far as I’m concerned there’s nothing that you lack

‘Cause I like the smile that you had

And I can’t help wonder why

You share with me that sparkle in your eye

I struggle to believe

Still this fairy tale’s come true

With everything that’s done by you

I’ve lost all myself inside you

Beast

I know its been awhile since I have posted anything on here. Its not because I am struggling with writer's block. (Sometimes I wish I was!) I just haven't recorded anything for quite awhile. This song is one that I wrote and recorded in October of last year. I apologize for the vocals. They are definitely not the greatest.

I could have named this song "Regrets" because that is really what it is about - the regrets in life that haunt us for longer than we should allow them to. How often it seems that we continually kick ourselves for things that have happened in the past, including those things that we had no control over! Relationships, jobs, things we've said to friends, the way we've treated family members, etc. The list could go on and on.

This started off as something I was playing around with on the guitar. It had such a dark vibe to it that I almost abandoned it. As I continued to play it to myself the word 'beast' kept creeping into my mind. From there is where the rest of the song came from. For me this is just a reminder that the 'beast' (regrets) of life CAN and WILL get to you, but only if you let it.



Time’s a vicious beast who gives you nothing back
All you hold in your hands fades into the black

Everything you hope for seems to be in vain

You have tried your best to wash off all your stains

Struggle with the patterns you have locked in place

Breaking every mirror in which you see your face

You don’t have the answers you’ve been searching for

You have no desire to fight in this unholy war

Even with your demons on the run

You can feel yourself coming undone

Where you gonna run to?

Where you gonna run this time?

Are you gonna stay right here and try to face your crimes?

Everybody’s looking, everybody’s watching you

You don’t get to decide anything you want to do

Grabbed and pulled apart by those who think they know

Feels like being dragged by wild horses through the snow

If it’s best for you that doesn’t mean a lot

Try as hard as you may, I will not be bought

Who exactly do you think you are?

You are not trapped under some bell jar

Where you gonna run to?

Where you gonna run this time?

Are you gonna stay right here and try to face your crimes?

Everybody’s looking, everybody’s watching you

You don’t get to decide anything you want to do