Where I Belong

This is a strange song to talk about but I must do so. This album that I have been working on will probably be called "Life" and with life there are both good and bad things. This happens to be one of the bad parts - one of the darkest moments of my life.

There was a period in my life when really didn't know what I was doing. I had a friend tell me to come to Phoenix with him to work. He was sure he could get me a job working with him and he was making very good money. I was not going to school at the time, I was living aimlessly at home, and I really was a waste of space. I went to Phoenix with him and he said I could live with him and his sister for a bit until I found my own place.

I didn't know it at the time but this friend of mine was a drug addict. His drug of choice was meth. This was when meth was still a fairly new drug. It wasn't new, but it wasn't as wide spread as it is now. When I got to Phoenix he offered me some, which I turned down. The next few days were awful after that.

Long story short - this was one of the worst incidents of my life. I lost one of my dearest friends in the whole wide world. Little did I know that it would soon be a permanent loss.

I don't tell this story, nor write this song to glamorize the use of drugs. It's quite the opposite - I hate drugs. I hate them with a passion. As I write this there are serious tears being shed because of how this one incident affected the friends in my life. How I wish I could go back and have been a better friend! 

The chorus of this song is one of the most honest and personal things I have ever written. At the time I did feel completely trapped. I wish I had never left my home in Yuma because it was where I really belonged. 

If there is a silver lining to this story and experience, it is that I was able to figure out what my path was after this. I saw what I DIDN'T want to be. It helped me learn a little bit more about myself, but it still breaks my heart into a thousand little pieces when I think about this.

Hopefully those of you who read this (if anyone does) will understand why I share such a personal story. Please don't think ill of me after reading this. Mistakes happens - its what we do to learn from them that matters.

There was a room

That I went in

Filled with smoke and mirrors

To hide the sin

And I had nothing

Nothing to lose

The devil laid his cards down

And I had to choose

This was life I’d never known

It made me cold down to the bone

I was stepping off the edge

Into something ugly

Now I feel so trapped

I wish that I could take it back

I wish that I had stayed at home

Where I belong

Instead I grabbed that bullet train

Inhaled it straight into my veins

‘Cause I was looking for someplace

Where I belong

I soon was kicked

Out of that room

It may as well have been

Tomorrow’s tomb

It all came tumbling

Out of my head

I heard a voice say “Leave

Or try to live life dead!”

I sat up through 20 nights

My head was filled with ardent lights

The crossroad said to “choose the right”

I hitched a ride with my soul

Now I feel so trapped

I wish that I could take it back

I wish that I had stayed at home

Where I belong

Instead I grabbed that bullet train

Inhaled it straight into my veins

‘Cause I was looking for someplace

Where I belong

03 Where I Belong.mp3