I wrote this song in 1995 I believe. It was the year after I graduated from high school. It came about from listening to a lot of Nirvana at the time. Kurt Cobain had been dead less than a year, and he had more of an influence on me dead than alive. I remember this being one of the first songs I wrote that I ever performed for my best friends, Bobby and Matt. I think I played it for the two of them in Matt's bedroom one afternoon. I loved the chromatic drop and rise in the song. I was really just starting to learn how to play the guitar and I loved that sound that had come about pure experimentation.
There is nothing to read into regarding the lyrics. What you read is what you get. I was still draped in my shroud of self-loathing so it was a pessimistic song. My lyrics were starting to improve somewhat during this time. Instead of being very simple I was starting to discover imagery to paint the feelings I was trying to sing about. All in all it's a pretty good song. It could use a killer solo in the middle of it - either a screaming guitar or a mourning cello.
Shadows crawl across my floor
Waves crash on a sandless shore tonight
Sound is shattered by an eerie silence
My every thought is full of violence tonight
My wishful thinking does nothing for me
And lonely whispers bring insanity
I’m so hopeless
Dreams drown in the pouring rain
Love lies beneath endless pain tonight
Love is blown in the howling wind
The air around me feels like sin tonight
The wall around me can’t be torn down
Everything I feel is forever bound
I’m so hopeless
Love’s always abandoning me
Can someone tell me why this must be tonight?
Years of loneliness have taken their toll
I need an angel to save my soul tonight
Sorrow has poisoned my mind like a drug
Pity could never take the place of love
I’m so hopeless
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